A Bugger's Delight...

The two highly coveted "lean-against-the-doors" spots

I stood on the crowded PATH train headed for 34th St. and Work this morning-- blurry, trivial thoughts entering and leaving my mind like faceless rush hour commuters going through turnstiles at NY Penn station. I was trying hard to ignore the passenger to my right who, despite the fact that I had outmaneuvered him to get the last of two "lean-against-the-doors" comfy spots on the train, continued to try to squeeze himself behind me with half his body awkwardly leading the way. I couldn't stand how he kept rubbing himself all over my right side each time the train jerked, so I stuck my right elbow out stiffly, and began to read my Metro news paper (I wasn't giving up that hands-free spot-- I hate holding onto the gross subway poles!). That worked to calm my nerves, knowing the discomfort I was causing him. And he eventually backed off-- halfheartedly re-positioning his torso to disguise his failed attempt at usurping my comfy spot, for a casual re-adjustment of his stance.

On page 4 of my Metro, I read an article on Latina teens and suicide rates. Then I read a shorter piece on a "several hundred" person pillow fight that took place on Saturday in Union Square. Did you know that the Union Square Pillow Fight Saturday is part of an international event -- International Pillow Fight Day? Well, neither did I, but this past Saturday marked it's sixth anniversary. Cool beans. Next page.

I took a cursory glance at page 5 of my Metro, fully intending to move on to page 6 (because I could care less about "Eco-conscious kids' clothing", or whatever anyone has to say about it.), when something big, rectangular, red, and bordered in yellow caught my attention:

I quickly flipped my paper back around to page 4 again and looked, with a touch of manic amusement, at the pillow fight piece, my disbelief growing with every passing second I processed the information. Seriously?! Had everyone forgotten that NYC was Camelot for these indomitable, armor clad blood suckers a.k.a BED BUGS?! I guess they had, since even I, with my past experience with these creatures, had failed to notice how this pillow fight was a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE idea (unless the goal was to help spread Bugger* love...) until this brilliantly placed ad. Good job Metro.

For the remaining two stops to my final destination, I felt my skin crawl and itch. I suffered in silence because I am morally against scratching in public... unless you're sure you're on a deserted street, and sure no one (a hot girl/guy?) will walk around the corner the exact moment you decide to scratch certain part (don't act like you don't get an inopportune itch every now and again!). I wondered how many of my fellow commuters had been given a good dusting of bed bug eggs this past Saturday. Was that annoying fellow rubbing himself all over me, a walking Bugger hive? Ugh!

"G'morning pretty! Here's a love bite for ya!"

The train arrived at 34th St., and I spilled out. I walked briskly to work, into the restroom and washed my hands. Absurd, since washing my hands has no effect on buggers, I know. But seeing as how I couldn't fumigate myself (because I don't have easy access to Bugger fumigants, and because I'd probably die in the fumigation process), I figured I'd do the next best thing and cleanse myself of NYC/NJ subway grime.

Happy Monday....

*Since our experience with them, my ex-roommates and I have called these delightful little darlings, Buggers.

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Got [Radioactive] Milk?

Radiation has been found in U.S. milk (so says the news). Oh, but don't panic... the "experts" say it's all a matter of dosage, and in this case, the dosage is very low. Nice.

(Photo: courtesy of Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences)

"So how is my milk getting nuked, albeit in low doses?" you may ask. Unless you've been asleep under a rock for the last couple of weeks, you no doubt heard about the distressing events that have been unfolding in Japan since the dumb earth quake, and dumber tsunami hit. Here's a quick recap: The water from the tsunami screwed up some nuclear reactor thing-jiggers, resulting in some explosions due to overheating of some nuclear stuff-jiggers, leading to some other stuff I'm still trying to get my head around. And now they have varying levels of nuclear material in their air, in their drinking water, and in their ocean.

"But that still doesn't explain how we're getting our milk nuked!" You're right-- we're getting there. You may or may not know that radiation can (and does) travel by hitching a ride with other stuff, for example, water and dust particles in the air. These particles get moved around from place to place by the wind... and a flight from Japan to the U.S. is not that far for a dust particle. These particles get to the U.S., settle on grass, cows eat grass, and ... well the milk gets contaminated with the radiation.

"Aaah gotit! O.k., but we're safe right?" you might ask. Ahem...I'm not an expert on anything nuclear or physics-ish-- not even close. But I do think. And I read. When radioactive particles go up into the clouds and accumulate, and when it finally rains, radiation spills forth in higher concentrations than when it first went up... kinda like that adage about little drops of water making a mighty ocean. If your head is spinning right now, check out this diagram for a better(?) explanation of how radiation can travel and how it can get concentrated in certain areas:

(Photo: From nytimes.com-- http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/03/24/world/asia/24japan-grx.html?ref=asia)

A couple of days ago, I heard some smart ass on CNN say "The solution to pollution is dilution." Cute. How do we dilute the milk we drink to reduce the amounts of radiation in it? Don't say water-- it's in there too. How do we dilute the cows' grass? How do we dilute radioactive particles accumulating in rain clouds? Let me know when you find the answers. Just kidding; I could care less about the answers. The truth is, there's not much anyone can do (not for long anyway) if our food sources are contaminated by high levels of radiation, so it's kind of a waste of energy to stress about it. I only wrote this blog post because it was fun to think about... have a great radiation filled day!

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