God bless her soul, that tiny little woman of mine. She really is the cutest person I've met (except for her cousin's baby...you just wanna eat her up!), but her fashion sense-- well, that's another story. It's not that she couldn't develop a fashion sense if she wanted to-- she just doesn't care about fashion... and I guess that is one of the reasons I was attracted to her to begin with. There's nothing hotter (to me) than a beautiful dorky girlfriend walking about the house in gym shorts and my over-sized sweatshirt.
However sometime during the course of our relationship I realized that gym shorts and over-sized sweatshirts were not meant to be worn with pink and blue shoes, or slippers one size too big. And that combination of clothing was certainly not meant to be worn out of the house! So I put my foot down! I would no longer tolerate her terrible outfit combinations!... And she turned me into her personal shopper. Sometimes I think this was her plan all along-- to goad me into doing her shopping, by dressing like someone kidnapped Macy's and left no ransom note.
Anyhow, this experience of being a personal shopper hasn't been at all bad. In fact, its been quite enlightening-- I can now understand why some women spend such a god-awful amount of time shopping (though I personally pull off my fashion miracles in under 45 minutes!).
Over the last few months, we've been planning what this summer will look like. Something about beaches, camping, and more beaches came up... I didn't listen that closely, but it's on my calender so it doesn't matter. Then sometime a few weeks ago I received an e-mail with the subject "homework assignment". It turned out the my assignment was to follow the included link to Victoria's Secrets, and find a bikini for her to wear, "because there were too many choices and it was overwhelming".....seriously? Well, I can't say I wasn't happy to oblige... it's not everyday you get asked to go peruse photos of sexy models (though some of them are too damn skinny!) in bikinis.
SO I dove, eye-balls first, into page after page of scantily clad Victoria's Secret models.... and if you'd walked up beside me while I was doing this, the intense concentration you would have found on my face would have led you to believe that I was genuinely trying to discern what the timeless Secret of Victoria's was, instead of buying a bikini for my Lady. Good times :D.
When, after a few dozen pages, I had narrowed my selection down to about 4 sets, I gave this woman a call to report my victory. In my report, I detailed the methodology by which I had decided upon those 4 sets. I explained about body type and sexiness factor; about color coordination and skin tone; about flaunting goodies that I'd like to see flaunted... you know, stuff like that. After several minutes of giving my detailed report, I went silent to give her a chance to tell me how awesome I was etc. etc.
She stayed silent with me for a few seconds.... then she burst out with a giggle in her voice, and all the excitement of two 14 year old bff's at a Justin Bieber concert, "I love you because you sound so gay!"
WHAT?! Besides the fact that I don't believe I sounded gay, I couldn't believe that, assuming I did sound gay, that would be the reason she'd site for loving m!? It wasn't the time I took to look at all those models; it wasn't even the time I took explaining the process to her so she could one day replicate. No, it was simply how gay I sounded to her....lol. Well, besides questioning her priorities when it comes to loving someone, I don't know what else to say. But I figured since I have a pretty awesome relationship, there might be something to be said for sounding a little gay. SO guys... have at!
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